Greetings Family , well families, but now that I am a “Special Mom”, everyone is family.
“This letter is long overdue, and it’s been tumbling around in my mind for weeks now. So, I thought it was finally time to get it done. Thank you for allowing me to share with you all. I am fortunate that there is such a “network”, of mom’s and professionals who all are such a gift in my life and you deserve to know it… so I decided to write you this letter. I love how this group encourages the best parts of me. I am: more open, honest, compassionate, educated, more driven, and more emotionally fulfilled than at any other point in my life and that is in large,because of you all!
“Thank you so much for reminding me ,who I am when I sometimes forget, and being kind to me when I myself am not kind to me. Thank you, for lifting me out of the judgment zone, and grounding me with:help,sound advice,resources and nurturing. I am so grateful to have access to such a wonderful group of people.
I am going to work backwards in our story and journey, so please bear with me.
First and foremost, I would like to give a very-special THANK YOU to this net work/group of moms, who have been:empowering, uplifting resourceful and just amazing. I am not sure when I stumbled upon the Facebook group, Special Mom’s Network, but what I do know is Aiden’s dad had been on a job and networked with a member of this group, who had given him information;which he gave to me and I found myself among the most :kind, caring loving supportive women .
I was very apprehensive to join; as I was afraid of catty, mean, snobby well, you know, ” witches”;( if you know what I mean. I though great ,a bunch of judgmental moms;just what I need, after all I already felt lost, isolated and confused, and was struggling with my own issues, (judgement especially) now I will have a pity party with a bunch of strangers. GREAT!
Yep, I entered the pity party of well you know,” witches” wink, wink.
Well ,was I in for the shock of my life! Someone knocked me off my unicorn, because there was no pity that’s for sure, and I met the AMAZING Phylis at a holiday party, but that is a whole other story (a good story, but for another day.)
Here, I met virtually and in person , to say the least, AMAZING, dedicated,striving Moms, who empowered woman with one ambition, UNITY.
YEP, unity. This was a safe place, a place I would basically say anything, and here comes the SHOCKER, especially with well seasoned Mom’s, they would laugh, cry and endure my agony right alongside me.
Affirmative, undoubtedly, with out fail, (select your own adjective lol)these Mom’s endure my pain. Not only did they endure it, they had been there done that and, honestly just validated my vent’s,concerns injustice and even silliness. I entered the safe judgement free zone, oh what a feeling.
These amazing MOM’s embrace me and never judged me, and that my friends is an awesome feeling.
Sometimes, I just needed to shoot the breeze and the mom’s are there.
Several times, I was in need of something outside of “advice” or “help” like:clothes, or a donation, or a gift for a toy drive etc…and these moms just open armed responded without hesitation and just did. Another amazing feeling exhibited by the group, generosity.
I can not say enough wonderful things about the group. I am particularly grateful for the advocacy that was made available to me, the legal help, the work-shops and seminars to name a few.
I had a horrific time in my former district and if it were NOT for the Special Mom’s network, I honestly(I would share, but not sure if that is permissible, but would totally be willing to network with a family the best I could, if they need help)would not be where I am and got the necessary help for my son.
Okay, sigh now the hard part. little Aiden.
Aiden is my joy, my passion, the love of my life. Pretty simple right? RIGHT? WRONG….Well, not so simple and here is why. I truly, truly love my son. I really do, however there are times , I have a hard time liking him. Yes, I said that. I love him beyond words, but have a difficulty liking or accepting his behavior. I know, I know how can a mom say that about her own Child? Trust me, it isn’t easy but I have learned to accept what is. This is just a radical acceptance of my truth.
Though Aiden is: a bundle of laughter, joy, a ray of sunshine, my rock, the apple of my eye, my world, life and EVERYTHING;yet he at times is: argumentative, combative, talks back and knows everything. He is my 4’2 professor who corrects me on everything and my repeat parrot who uses previous conversations (overhead) to calculate and use against me.
My amazing well ,loved, FUNNY kid who is a dream come true, drives me nuts lol. Yep, bitter sweet victory. Oh and did I mention the obsession and bizarre points of interest? Never mind, oh wait, and the self-esteem issues, and the fears, and out of world almost unbelievable,yet almost realist, well sort of stories. Oh and the self proclaimed “entitlement”.
Oh and I think I forgot to mention the monsters that climb or zip-line 3 stories and basically scale the side of the house to break in his room and the aliens who will come and take him and I will let him go. Oh, never-mind……WAIT,wait,wait for it…., I forgot the I cant’s and the constant redirection and the over the moon mean Mommy that I am and the constant daily living skill reminders. Wait just kidding. LOL
Welcome to my world of Sensory Processing Disorder , better known as “Autism Spectrum Disorder, (ASD) high functioning might I add.
Funny, I always chuckle when that gets added, like it makes it “better” or worse? For some reason, I earnestly believe adding that condemnation “high functioning offers some sort of solace, well at least when I have to “explain” Aiden to people who just don’t get it, warning, BIG RUN ON SENTENCE ahead…. Or think Aiden is perfectly fine(which he is but just awkward and people don’t “get connection” or GASP people who go OMG, I am SOOOOO SORRRRYYYY to hear that, like it’s a death sentence and the there is nothing wrong with that boy group of people who think a good old fashioned spanking will do that boy some justice, and I am the issue not him , or he needs more activities and HE”S JUST FINE,you know those people, but that is a whole other topic. I at least hope you are laughing or smiling at this point, because what else can we do lol?)
Oh, back to my son lol. So Aiden was not a ‘normal pregnancy” SURPRISE. I had pre-clamisa, gestational diabetes, as I recall ,he(Aiden) was HUGE according to OBGYN,breech and it would be like”delivering a large piece of furniture through a narrow doorway” as I was told. Yep go ahead laugh.